Single Mommy

Why?

2011-01-04T12:45:00.001-05:00

2010-06-03T20:10:00.002-04:00

Tonight my daughter ate pasta with butter and garlic with a side of chicken. To drink she had an old "sippy" cup she found while rifling through the cabinets, full of cold water. I let her eat while I washed the dishes. I checked on her later and found her dropping the spaghetti strands on her bedroom floor so the cats can have some too. Wow.

2010-04-04T19:19:00.000-04:00

Happy Easter!

2010-01-20T14:09:00.001-05:00

The amount of giggling during he science reproductive system was priceless. I remeber when I was their age and we were laughing the same exact way. Even though it was almos twenty years ago things a re surprisingly exactly the same. Amazing. If only I knew than what i know now (I would probably be the most popular girl in school *smile*). I would also pay good money to go back in time and just re-live those days because they really were some of the best times in my life. I lecture a certain someone all the time that you can not always look back at ones "hey day" and wish you were still there. That you have to look at the present and make that phenomenal too. Maybe it is time I took my own advice.

A day in the life of a single mom

2008-04-04T11:45:00.003-04:00

What prompted me to write this is a friend exclaiming to me “I do not know how you do it every day! A single mom with two kids.” I thought it would be interesting to me and others to document my day. I do it because I have to. I owe it to them to provide the best life I can for them and to insure that they are an asset to society. Everyone wants to live their mark on the world. They are my way of leaving a mark.

5:45 a.m. My day begins. My nine month old daughter demands to be nursed at this time every morning since she was born. There is no bargaining; also since she learned how to stand and throw stuffed animals she knows how to get my attention promptly. Some mornings she drifts back to sleep with me and others she kicks like a mad woman the blankets because it is fun.

6:30 a.m. This is when I check my email for any new writing assignments. I am trying to earn a living as a freelance writer right now. The job is fifty percent writing and fifty percent looking for something to write. Now that I have found some legitimate companies all is going well.

7:00 a.m. It is time to wake up my twelve year old. This is always quite the task. He is way too big for me to pick up so I usually just steal the covers from him and wait for the shock of cold to get to him. He has never, ever gotten up out of bed on his own. Or brushed his teeth. Or washed his face. I remind him to every morning. At this time I also make breakfast for the baby. This usually consists of some kid of fruit and oatmeal mixture which looks real gross but she just loves! My twelve year old prefers to eat breakfast at school which is just fine with me.

7:50 a.m. My twelve year old needs to be at the bus stop by this time or he will be left. It seem like the bus drivers around here get a bonus if they leave kids behind or something. My son has recently taken it upon his self to ring the doorbells and pick up all the other kids on the way to the bus stop so they do not get left either. I watch the mob of children walk to the corner and wait for the bus.

8:00 a.m. If the baby is still sleeping I get right back into bed with her. She always looks so comfortable. She rolls right into my warm spot and will not budge. Sometimes when I climb back into bed with her she opens her eyes long enough to smile at me and than she nods off back to sleep. She snores loud for a little baby.

9:30 a.m. If I am lucky and I stress the lucky part the baby will stay asleep until now. She wakes me up with a nice sound smack upside my head and a giggle. I nurse her again and than I make a quick breakfast. She eats her oatmeal and fruit and I eat eggs and potatoes.

11:00 a.m. Most days we are at play group now. There is nothing more entertaining than watching twenty babies all crawling in different directions while their moms are trying to get them to sing songs. In the middle of singing my baby is always the one that decides that it will be funny to screech just for the sheer joy of it. All the other moms laugh which encourages her to carry on screeching laughing and waving. Most of the babies take a breast milk break and than they have “free play”. I think that it is ironic that this is called free play considering that they do what ever they want the whole time anyway. There is always a group of babies that all want one particular toy. No matter how many toys are available they all want just one thing. It always ends in tears.

12:30 p.m. The baby and I stop at the store on the way home. Our little family always needs something or other. When we get home we have lunch. I have a sandwich and the baby usually eats the bread from my sandwich and some fruit. Once in a while she will let me shovel in some sort of vegetable. After lunch we dance, well I dance. I turn the music all the way up and get as wild as possible. She can not walk or talk yet but she does sit in place and clap and laugh for me. The baby goes to sleep eventually than I take a cat nap if possible.

2:00 p.m. I try to get some writing done at this time. I also check my email again and try to make any phone calls. My friends that work regular 9 to 5s will usually give me a call around this time too. I also work as a Mystery Shopper. This is basically someone who is paid to go to retail stores and make sure they are working to the company’s standards. I feel guilty sometimes when the store does a bad job; I actually say a little prayer for them in my head because I really do want them to get a good score. I usually reserve the secret shopping for the weekend.

3:30 p.m. The baby is awake and my son comes home from school and has a million stories to tell me. The first thing he does is his homework and I do some writing. The baby crawls between me and him happy to sit in the middle of the room ripping up magazines and chasing after the cat. After we all have a snack we watch a little bit of television. I tend to nod off during this time but I try real hard not to.

6:00 p.m. Dinner time! I tend not to make anything to difficult because my son is happy to eat nuggets every day anyway but I feel the need to make something nutritious. While the baby sits in her high chair throwing cheerios on the floor my son is racing back and forth through the house for no reason while I cook. After we eat I try to do some light cleaning. My son likes to mop and vacuum so I have him do that if needed now. I do everything else.

9:00 p.m. It is bath time. The baby goes first. She has recently learned how to splash which is always quite enjoyable to her, than my son takes his shower. My son has recently discovered that using the entire bottle of body wash creates a lot of bubbles. I really wish he would stop.

10:00 p.m. If I am lucky everyone goes to sleep now. The baby gets nursed for the last time of the evening and my son falls asleep watching Star Wars Episode II.

10:30 p.m. I was the dishes and put away anything the kids have left out. I also sneak a sweet snack. I like not having to share. I also sit down and do some more writing if I am not too tired. I also try to get some reading in.

1:00 a.m. Bed time for me, finally.

I love my life. Most days I am exhausted. Sometimes I even get sad, but overall I love my life.

2008-03-22T20:12:00.004-04:00

I am not sure why this child likes to sit in a basket and eat peanut butter crackers but she does. She gets real upset when you take her out and try to sit her at a proper eating environment. I just go ahead and let her do as she wants to do. What is the harm right? I have found that my child is going to be quite the individual.

2008-03-21T20:30:00.004-04:00

My now almost two year old daughter has discovered the wonderful world of television! I am especially excited because I can get the dishes done without her hanging on to the back of my shirt! She specificaly loves The two shows The Backyardigins and Wonderpets. Everytime either show comes on she comes and grabs me to dance with her to the beginings of the theme songs. She has even started to learn some of the lyrics. My personal favorite is Miss Spider and her Sunny Patch Friends. The artistry is simply superb. The storylines are something anyone can relate to. I knew that I was way to in to the show when I was getting personally upset over the fact that one of the characters was telling lies and being mean to the others. Is it a defenite sign that I need to get out more that I am starting to relate more and more to preschool television?

Halloween for me

2007-10-23T19:46:00.000-04:00

This is the first year that my baby is going to truly enjoy Halloween. She is a year and a half and as cute as can be. I know that she is my ticket to a lot of great candy. I also have a twelve year old but I know that he absolutely will no share his candy with me at all. This year is going to be extra exiting because my little cousin and I are hosting a Fall Harvest/Halloween party.
We had a hard time trying to decide exactly what we were all going to be. We threw around the idea of going as a rap group, Willy Wonka and some umpa lumpas. We even thought The Cat and the Hat with Thing 1 and Thing 2 would be simply hilarious. While falling asleep on night I thought it would be a great idea if my baby and I went as convicts and my son the twelve year old went as a cop. I finally realized that this ideas were far to complicated and figured that soon as we go to our local Halloween store and than an idea would hit me. It was than pointed out to me that maybe my twelve year old does not want to dress in theme with his mother and his baby sister. So we are no longer going as a theme. I am going as a convict because the costume is too cute to resist. My baby girl is going as a pink leopard because that costume as well is way too cute to resist. My twelve year old son is going to be a ninja because that is way too cute to resist.
I can hardly wait to take my children trick or treating. I remember when I was a child I only go to go trick or treating once because my mother thought it was far to dangerous. What we would do every year was haunt our house. We would put tombstones in the yard. Decorate the porch with spider webs and spiders. We would even throw some fake dead bodies on the porch for that extra scary touch. We would put the stereo speakers in the windows and when it would start to get dark we would play the haunted compact disk that was full of scary sounds like ghost howling and clanking chains.
Halloween was always my mother’s favorite holiday and now it is mine. I fully intend to pass the legacy on to my children.

Breast is best?

2006-09-22T22:25:00.000-04:00

Breast is best. I think that is the very first thing I was told by my midwife, after she told me I was pregnant that is. Me being the millennium hippie type that I am had already decided that I was going to definitely nurse my child. I had these romanticized vision of my new bundle of joy suckling at my breast. Me looking down at her, her looking up at me being grateful for the nourishment I was giving her. I read the books. I was surprised at the mention of "some mild discomfort". I figured how much discomfort can it be, the kid is all gums right? Wrong! An hour after Lailah was born I put her to a boob and she looked at me and gave me look that clearly meant"and what and the hell do you want me to do with this?" She than went to sleep. The nurse/lactation specialist told me to take her clothes off to wake her up. I did and tried to nurse her again. She would not latch on. I held her while the nurse/lactation specialist tried to shove me into her mouth. That did not work. After about 45 minutes she finally took the thing, for two minutes and went to sleep. I felt so rejected. I wanted to give up. It was on the tip of my tongue to ask for a bottle of formula but I figured I should just give it some more time. At her next feeding she latched on great. Than that "mild discomfort" kicked in. If by mild discomfort they meant extreme pain than yeah it was mild. It was like she was trying to suck out my soul through my nipple. I couldn't figure out why all the woman in the pictures looked so happy and content. This mess hurt!! I still held out that lingering hope that maybe, just maybe the pain would subside. The first day home from the hospital she would not nurse at all. I rushed to our local Walmart and brought a breast pump. I hoped that perhaps a bottle would be easier for her but she would still get the nourishing breast milk. No, no, no. Turns out she is a little scared of bottles. She cried and cried. After pumping for an hour and only getting out 2 ounces I tried nursing again. Remember that scene in alien where the beast from outer space opens its mouth to the size of the person's head? That was Lailah. She nursed for two hours. I know that after about an hour nursing is pointless because there is nothing coming out but she was quiet and seemed happy. Breast feeding releases a hormone called oxytocin that makes you extremely sleepy. That's why nursing new mommys in real life all look like walking zombies. That is also why I had to catch myself from falling of the bed because I had slumped over and fallen asleep nursing. Note to self: don't nurse past 45 minutes. It is 4 months later and yes I am still breast feeding. My nipples have healed and I have even gotten over having to whip out a boob in public. Lailah is a nice hefty 14 pounds at 4 months old and loving the Mommy milk.

Napping

2006-09-22T21:34:00.000-04:00

Today started with a nap. Our day always starts with a nap. The best advice I was given was to sleep when the baby is sleeping. Soon as Lailah's eyes close I'm closing my eyes too. The doctors always say never let your baby sleep with you, even if it's only for a short time. It becomes real easy to let them just stay in your bed. They cuddle up right next to you and even throw a little baby arm around your neck for good measure. I tried putting Lailah in her own bed but it did not work out so well. Lailah was out cold and I decided it was time to move her. When I picked up her arm it would just fall right back down. I kissed her all over her face and there was no reaction. As soon as I picked her up and had her over the crib to place her down. Those little baby eyes popped right open and she screamed bloody murder. She looked at me as to say "How could you be so cruel as to put me in this thing?." Back to my bed she went. The doctor suggested "Ferberizing". That's when you just let your baby cry it out so they learn to self soothe. The doctor didn't mention that I would be on the other side of the door crying as well! It's starting to look like I am just going to have to go to college with her. I will lay with her until she falls asleep and just leave in the middle of the night.